October 20; Is Conflict Resolution Linked To Gender?
MANAGEMENT BY THE BOOK:
365 Daily Bible Verse &
One-Minute Management Lessons For The Busy Faithful

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Chapter Ten: Deciding 20 October

She held court under the Palm of Deborah

between Ramah and Bethel in the hill country of Ephraim,

and the Israelites went up to her

to have their disputes decided.

Judges 4:5

Is Conflict Resolution Linked To Gender?

Negotiate

“Women aren’t paid as much as men,” goes the feminists’ refrain.

Women can ask for directions but can’t ask for a raise? That’s not the rich white man’s fault.

Women as managers use persuasion to gain support from staff and peers and seem to understand quicker that managing is a sales process of buying and selling.

So if women are so good at relationships and selling, why do they negotiate for less money than men? Why do women leave money on the table?

Relationships help in management but the over-valuing of personal interactions can be problematic in negotiations.

Charmaine and Hannah

Charmaine and Hannah

One of the findings of Charmaine’s dissertation was that most women would simply not ask for what they wanted. It seemed that women valued their professional friendships and feared offending more than getting more money or asking for more benefits.

This is a problem. Where it is often helpful for women to understand the need for sound relationships and a support system, women are slower to grasp the need not to be perfect. Some actions will offend somebody, somewhere at sometime. This is a risk many women will not take.

Women value relationships and will be slower to walk away from a negotiation fearing that the rapport will be destroyed if the woman gets up and walks away.

Men have no such fear.

Men are more likely to understand that perfection is not needed in management but are slower to grasp the need for a support system and slower to request help.

Conversely, women are quicker to ask for help, to give help; to share. (I hate this verb: I am male.)

In management, as in life, women will ask for directions.

Women are often the primary care-givers in the family of elderly parents and children. And this makes hard nosed negotiation even more of a problem.

In Charmaine’s book Mother in the Middle: Searching for Peace in the Mommy Wars, she explored the tension that women have in balancing work and family, paycheck and children. She reviewed the challenges and the expectations of “having it all, all at once.” Women have nearly opposite concerns from men in the disequilibrium-trifecta of kids, career and contentment. The imbalance can be painful.

Your Business Professor believes that women are uniquely positioned to bring this experience of imbalanced misery to management. Advanced training can help lighten the woman’s burden as the boss. No matter if she’s managing to keep the home fires burning or putting out fires at the office.

But managing multiple projects and competing priorities and relationships is the core of the emotional intelligence of managing in the workplace.

She held court under the Palm of Deborah between Ramah and Bethel in the hill country of Ephraim, and the Israelites went up to her to have their disputes decided. Judges 4:5

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